Saturday, December 25, 2010

Dickonomics

It’s annoying. It’s mindblowingly super annoying. Don’t you just get tired of waiting? Yes I am talking about hook up. Everyone has heard that if you want something so badly and with pure heart, the whole universe will help you to achieve it. I say yeah right! I don’t see guys with 9 inches lining outside my door. I don’t get this. Why is it so hard to find a guy around here? Why am I bitter? Well, if you are keeping a tab (or still reading……seriously is anyone reading?), I am still tragically single. I have tried everything! Online dating – yes, Hitting on random ‘i-think-he’s-gay’ guy – yes, hitting on my neighbor just in case he turns out be gay – yes. Nothing seems to work in this country! People ask me, why do you blame your country? Maybe it’s the same situation for many even in the most advanced countries. My answer: I couldn’t care less.  
There comes a very terrible moment in every single’s life when everywhere he/she goes, its with the purpose of maybe running into some hot guy. Heaven knows how many weird places I have been to just in this very hope. At one point of time I got so addicted to a dating website, it was the first website I used to visit, re-visit every 50 seconds, to refresh just in case someone messaged me. I actually got webcam only to have webcam sex chat. Thank god, I chose to be anonymous. Is it a sign of depression of you add a gay porn website to your favourite site list? Hmm….or unhealthy desperation? Unemployed psychologists, are you reading this?
All the things I mentioned above, I am still doing them. Oh! Don’t judge me! You must have done at least ONE of them! At least my profile picture in that dating website is not my dick, which for the record is not that bad. Its true guys think from their dicks. And I have been doing everything for…yes you guessed it right…DICKS! Don’t you just love them? Adore them?  There are all those vagina-hungry straight guys who swear that nothing in this world can be compared to the art of female body. I think nothing can be compared to the fine structure of a thick dick. Taking it in your hand, stroking it, exploring every inch with your tongue, waiting for him to moan when you take it deep down your throat…..Sigh! huh? I am virgin, how do I know this? Funnily, I have never kissed, never had sex (dick virgin and anal virgin) but I have done oral. In 9th grade. Don’t expect I did it on a bed covered with red roses, it did it in my classroom, Mathematics class, sitting on the last bench. For 30 seconds. And yeah, I can go deep. My life is more depressing than you though it would be. Please don’t think I want to define myself solely on dicks, I like balls too!
Still looking for ‘the one’, ‘the dick’, pray that I get one.  Yeah yeah merry Christmas to you too.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Beginning..of the blog atleast

I thought what would I write about? I still think about it. I still don’t know. It won’t matter to me that no one in this overly populated country (world, a very unimaginable and scary prospect) would read this. I write this blog as a gay guy in his last teenage year, always been single but never devoid of love and his journey for true love (or at least a boyfriend). Does that even exist?
Now, we all have seen those movies where a women always just happens to run into the love of her life or that a raging horny homosexual’s new neighbor through some coincidence in this world turns out to be just the right Greek god he always wanted to spend his life with. Well, let me just put this straight, in a country like India, this scenario is just impossible. Sometimes I wonder, with the population like ours and anti-gay at that, if every person in this world comes out clean about his/her sexuality, India would definitely put any place which prides itself with the highest gay population to shame.  Alas! A guy can dream, can’t he?
My love life has been, to put in very simple words, sucky. So what, you say? Yes, well aren’t we all looking for love? Aren’t we all tired of reading desperate wannabes? I say damn you bitches! Everyone has the right to be heard. (Thank god, if not orientation tolerance, this country has biggest yet flawed democracy). You know what the weird thing is? I am sometimes (read most of the time) thoroughly convinced that I DON’T need to look for love. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen. Let my life take its own course. Sorry to be so blunt, but my dick is forever looking for a mouth and yes I’m still a virgin. Why, o why am I writing this! I don’t know, perhaps a gay guy or anyone will just read this..? Hellooo, anybody? I think there’s a writer in everyone. No matter if mine would not appeal to the hardcore religious and the wider demographic.
You already must be preparing yourself to break your computer screens, if you have come so far, well I am not gonna bore you with my ‘first moment when I knew I was gay’ shit. Let’s just get right down to it. In this post I want to tell you the first time I fell in love. Aah! The first love! Don’t we all remember it? Sorry to be kill joy but mine was well disastrous. Why?! I fell in love with a freaking (gasp) straight guy! I was in 10th grade. Myself always been a private person, sticking to few people (doesn’t every 3rd gay?) and him in his perfectly shaped, muscled body, perfect shoulders, broad yet welcoming chest and his eyes!! Those green eyes! Goes without saying that when I told him that I loved him (yes, I am over him now….am I?), he went speechless. Now that I look back, I wonder why didn’t he punch me or just ran away screaming. Well, he was dumb for the next week and wasn’t talking to anybody. Ugh! Let’s not go into the gory details, the bottom line, he is STRAIGHT and I wasted 6 months of my life thinking that my undying devoted love could convert him. And what really happened? I obviously became the joke of the entire school. ‘woah! A Gay!’, yes a very foolish gay. Strangely, I don’t regret it at all. I learned the most valuable lesson in my life. Never ever EVER run behind a straight guy. It’s sad to see so many gay guys fanaticizing about straight men. Well, my first love taught me to maintain my distance. Even touching them seems revolting to me now. Oh yeah! Straight gay haters! The feeling is mutual!
I have never had anybody walking up to me and hitting on me, I am talking about gay guys here, anyway, and twice I have had guys with whom something could have happened, but I pushed them away. That feeling of ‘I shall remain alone forever’ creeps in.
Enough for now, so to summarize, I write this blog, to seek people, who are willing to go along my never ending journey to find my love, my other half, my unexplored life, my perfect stud, ok…enough cheesiness, just to get a god damn boyfriend. And OBVIOUSLY I’ll remain anonymous.