Saturday, December 25, 2010

Dickonomics

It’s annoying. It’s mindblowingly super annoying. Don’t you just get tired of waiting? Yes I am talking about hook up. Everyone has heard that if you want something so badly and with pure heart, the whole universe will help you to achieve it. I say yeah right! I don’t see guys with 9 inches lining outside my door. I don’t get this. Why is it so hard to find a guy around here? Why am I bitter? Well, if you are keeping a tab (or still reading……seriously is anyone reading?), I am still tragically single. I have tried everything! Online dating – yes, Hitting on random ‘i-think-he’s-gay’ guy – yes, hitting on my neighbor just in case he turns out be gay – yes. Nothing seems to work in this country! People ask me, why do you blame your country? Maybe it’s the same situation for many even in the most advanced countries. My answer: I couldn’t care less.  
There comes a very terrible moment in every single’s life when everywhere he/she goes, its with the purpose of maybe running into some hot guy. Heaven knows how many weird places I have been to just in this very hope. At one point of time I got so addicted to a dating website, it was the first website I used to visit, re-visit every 50 seconds, to refresh just in case someone messaged me. I actually got webcam only to have webcam sex chat. Thank god, I chose to be anonymous. Is it a sign of depression of you add a gay porn website to your favourite site list? Hmm….or unhealthy desperation? Unemployed psychologists, are you reading this?
All the things I mentioned above, I am still doing them. Oh! Don’t judge me! You must have done at least ONE of them! At least my profile picture in that dating website is not my dick, which for the record is not that bad. Its true guys think from their dicks. And I have been doing everything for…yes you guessed it right…DICKS! Don’t you just love them? Adore them?  There are all those vagina-hungry straight guys who swear that nothing in this world can be compared to the art of female body. I think nothing can be compared to the fine structure of a thick dick. Taking it in your hand, stroking it, exploring every inch with your tongue, waiting for him to moan when you take it deep down your throat…..Sigh! huh? I am virgin, how do I know this? Funnily, I have never kissed, never had sex (dick virgin and anal virgin) but I have done oral. In 9th grade. Don’t expect I did it on a bed covered with red roses, it did it in my classroom, Mathematics class, sitting on the last bench. For 30 seconds. And yeah, I can go deep. My life is more depressing than you though it would be. Please don’t think I want to define myself solely on dicks, I like balls too!
Still looking for ‘the one’, ‘the dick’, pray that I get one.  Yeah yeah merry Christmas to you too.

7 comments:

  1. Ur frigg'in 19!!! It's okay to still be a virgin!! Nobody is going to point a finger at u and laugh at this lil fact!

    As for the search for a dick, well.....we all get that itch now and then...nothing new, nothing out-of-ordinary!!

    Merry Christmas to u too, kid! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm 20.
    Also a virgin, big whoop.
    Also, 9th grade, 3rd base.
    You naughty naughty.
    :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, I was a virgin until I turned 23. And I never had sex in India, no biggie.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is the very state of every gay men.....it is so stereotypical, i think, my state is still the same at this very old age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah. Yes. But I have come to acknowledge and accept my...uh...thirst for it

      Delete