Thursday, January 27, 2011
Yeah, you read it right. I did it! I totally did it!
It was probably the biggest disappointment in my life. Every image, every expectation, shattered….ruined. I met this guy on this gay dating website (yes, I know sad) and from there we got around chatting and then exchange of numbers and then texts followed by both of us wanting to meet up and have “fun” (His words not mine). This all may seem like a process but all of it took just one hour. So I met him this Sunday, 23rd. Before I tell you what actually happened on this date/fun-date, let me enlighten you with why I chose this guy. 9 inches. If anyone has been reading my blog, he/she would understand my obsession with this measurement. Isn’t it weird that before telling his name and asking for mine that guy showed me his dick? Yes, it was exactly 9 inches, no exaggerations.
We met. Typical South Indian (but not completely dark skinned….no people I am NOT racist), as tall as me, 6 feet, and medium built. If ever I had seen him somewhere, anywhere, I wouldn’t have given him a second glance but at that point of time all I could think was ‘Fuck, he has 9 inches; shit I am a virgin, crap I didn’t get any condoms, crap! I have only 6.5’. I went ahead with it. We talked for a while, completely random, I don’t even remember, and then we went to my room (I had rented one for the weekend).
He switched on the television, wanted to see some stupid cricket match! Well, we got naked, and gosh! That 9 inches! We started kissing. It was weird. Isn’t your first kiss supposed to make you feel that the world has stopped spinning? To make you forget everything else? To get your heart racing? To make you so much involved that you forget breathing? No, nothing happened. He was the worst kisser ever. His hands weren’t behind my back or anywhere for that matter. He never touched my face with his fingers. He never looked me in my eyes. Silly me, I didn’t stop even then. I got down to give him BJ. And it was disgusting!! It was so freaking big, I choked on it. He wasn’t even looking at me! He didn’t moan, even once. And when with great difficulty I went deepthroat he said ‘oh shit! A 6!’ (Cricket match). That would be a slap on the face on any prudent person….not me….i
was am a dickhead. I continued. Still. When I proceeded with my dick towards his mouth, he stopped me and said, ‘Dude, I don’t do oral’. Wtf? ‘Are you straight or something?’ Well to cut the crap and get to the bottom line, he gave me a bj with a condom on (Soo not hot, please NEVER and I mean NEVER give a BJ to any guy with a condom on, NOT worth it), came in my mouth. And then just left.
Oh! Anal you ask? I am a virgin, remember? I am a semi-virgin now. When he started doing it, argh! The pain!! The agony! I couldn’t do it. He tried it with 2 condoms but whenever he tried to push it in, I just couldn’t deal with the pain. So yeah, semi virgin. And of course, he was a top so I couldn’t do him.
So this was my first. Everyone’s first involves so much intimacy, passion, lust if not love. I cannot believe I wasted my first time on him. The whole idea of this blog seems so stupid now. I don’t want random hook ups ever. At this point, I want to mention my BFF, who after coming to know what happened with me, explained me what actually is wrong with my head and thank you( even though you may never read this my best friend). I feel so stupid now. Can’t believe it took such horrid experience to make me realize that. I’ll spare you gruesome details…it involved me puking out his cum and pubic hair later….well let’s just not go there. Earlier I thought that I had reached that stage in my life, where I was thoroughly convinced that I’ll just go with the flow, just live in the moment, not wait for anyone, not chasing love but getting struck by it whenever it’s supposed to strike me. But I was wrong about myself.
I can see clearly now.