Saturday, March 16, 2013

A tale of a Cut Dick and a Tight Hole


Why is Anal sex so fucking hard? Dear readers, I have tried to do it with my boyfriend at least 20 times and as much as I would like to post this on a proctologist’s website, I shall refrain myself from doing so.

I don’t have AIDS. Well da-uh, I haven’t had sex. But if taking uncountable dicks into your mouth…then…uh….never mind. I am not THAT ugly that I can’t get a guy a hard on. Then why? Everytime we try to do it, FUCKING LORD, it pains so much that I just can NOT fucking do it. I did take the mushroom inside once, and I swear on Gaga’s name, I thought I was gonna shit on my boyfriend’s dick!

One day, I set up the whole room, took a bath, cleaned every fucking hole in my body (inside AND out) and I got a scented candle for god’s sake! Put on a sexy playlist, a drink and you know blah blah. That night I was ready to lose my virginity for good. And guess what? By the end of it I found it so hard to take it in that I started crying “I am going to die a virgin and never have sex in my entire life.” Yeah…..that’s not something what you say when a guy is trying to put his cock inside you. It’s not like I am not attracted to him. I do love him. And once when his face wasn’t enough, I did imagine Justin Timberlake and Chace Crawford and Jimmy Coxxx and Brent Everett and that Teenwolf guy and that Vampire Diairies guy and, well you get it. And this cute junior I have a crush on. Worked to some extent but damn it! I can’t seem to take it in. And bitch don’t tell me I have a disease!

Sorry, this post is shit. I just feel like ranting right now. His dick is cut by the way. It’s not that long but its fine. Its thickness is good though. And I can do magic with my tongue so not everything on the bed goes to waste (god knows how many condoms didn’t end up doing the deed which they were supposed to). Oh whatever, I am gonna go to sleep now and pretend that nothing is wrong with my sex life


FUCK MY LIFE!!!

P.S. In case you care, the relationship is going good. 

4 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha!!! its funny when i am going back (reading posts)
    I believe you have overcome this now, if not than our mutual friend will help you with advice!!! he bears a similar problem.
    “I am going to die a virgin and never have sex in my entire life.”- i have done something worse. i was being rammed and while moaning; first, i started reciting the shahid kapoor song (only 4 words)- Dhatting Dhatting Dhatting nach and second, i started laughing. Best part, both of them happened on the same night. You don't do such things on your first date with the guy straight out of your dreams!!! but after all this, that has been the best sex of my life!!!

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    1. Yeah, overcome this to a large extent. Not become good at bottoming though. And what the fuck? Did you actually sing that song out loud!!!

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  2. Came across your blog after I saw your profile on grindr which led me to instagram which led me here. I am 26, and I am thinking of having anal with the guy I like and I am fucking afraid... I insert 2 fingers and it pains like fuck... what would happen when I take a fucking dick?? I think I would quit even before it starts (I hope not). Thankfully the mouth does wonders if nothing goes as planned.
    Sorry for the rambling. Have a great day.

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    1. Hello Askhat. It is perfectly okay to be afraid. But you really need to get comfortable to enjoy being a bottom, specially for the first time. Don't take a dick until you are comfortable with putting fingers in. Trying one finger, then slowly move on to more. And use as much as lube as you can get. If you are trying just your fingers, body lotion would be good. And if all else fails, there are always poppers. Don't rush it. It took me fucking 2 years to get a dick in properly inside and have good anal sex. I use poppers if the dick size is above average. Trust me, if done right, getting fucked IS FUCKING AMAZING

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