Friday, July 12, 2013

My Glorious affair with Porn

I love porn. Gay porn. Hardcore bareback gay porn. Hardcore bareback bed-shaking cum-exploding gay porn.

What’s wrong with it? Why am I even bothering with this post about porn? Because sometimes I prefer jacking off to porn than letting my boyfriend give me a blowjob. There! I said it! I don’t know how to explain this. Porn has been in my life since 6th grade! It’s like being with this hot boyfriend who will never let you down and comes in so many varieties.

I am not ashamed to admit that in my 10th grade I had imagined my whole life in my head with Mason Wyler. We had 2 kids, one with his cute smile and my black eyes. The other one with my black hair and his blue eyes. But it didn’t work out. Because he was jealous of this other guy I was friends with who openly admitted to having feelings for me. What could I have done! He was a friend and I just couldn’t quit on our friendship. Then I dumped him (Mason).

Then he happened. Brent Corrigan. I still giggle when I think about him. His first video “School Boy Crush”. Oh Boy! This was in 11th grade. He was a gardener in my home. Oh him! Always gardening shirtless. Whenever I would pass by, he would smile and I would pretend that I didn’t care but inside I would be moaning and imagining my dick sliding slowly inside his ass. And while penetration he would be holding a rose in his mouth. Finally the day came when I was alone at home and he was really tired. I invited him inside on the pretense of offering a cold glass of water but well, we ended up me giving him a cold shower. (Yeah, judge me. I felt like urinating on Brent). Alas! This affair was not meant to last long! I was going to college and he was but a gardener!

I met my third lover in my first year of college. He was everything I dreamt of. Charming, versatile, funny. He was Jimmy Coxxx. At first I didn’t give much attention to his goofy looks but slowly his charm won me over. It was a glorious affair! We even talked about marriage. He wasn’t at all bothered by the fact that Mason and I had 2 kids. In fact they both lovingly called him Po. (Because Kung Fu Panda is their favourite movie, haha, I know, kids.) Little did I know that his obsession for me would turn psychotic. He stabbed one of my friend who he suspected had a crush on me. He even tapped my phone to check up on me. I had to report to the police.

SEE!!! I have such a long history with porn. It’s not just porn, it’s my entire life! I still think (read jack off) to Mason, Brent and Jimmy now.

But wait, who’s this? A friend just told me a guy called Johnny Rapid has been asking around if I am single or not. Oh my life.