Thursday, April 28, 2016
I am now writing my first post of 2016! Sorry for taking 4 months since writing my last post. I was going through a terrible job crisis (which I have now quit and feel incredibly happy about, so yay!) and was just not in the mood to write anything.
First of all, I don't know if I have mentioned this before or not but I am not anonymous anymore about DUG (Ugh, short form of my blog doesn't sound too cool, does it?). I have linked my instagram profile and twitter account to this blog. So I thought I would link both of those here as well.
Second of all, it's been more than 5 years since I started writing this blog bitches! I am not ashamed of admitting that I had started writing my diary after watching the first episode of first season of The Vampire Diaries (yes, very lame but I am still watching the show and it has become very very painful) AND that I started writing this blog after watching Sex and the City (too bad I don't have fucking amazing deals like Carry did with Vogue and New York Observer but hey! It's about just writing right. Right?). In between those 5 years, I finished high school, got into law school, finished college, got my first job and now quit my first job! In my first ever post, I wrote about how I am going to write about my 'journey to find true love or a boyfriend' (lolz) and fortunately my goals in life have changed but I am happy to have found love, not just through boyfriend but through so many wonderful people in my life (family, friends blah blah blah).
Now, before making this post sound like I am giving some yuck award acceptance speech, let us begin talking about what I want to write about (weird that I keep switching between 'talk' and 'write'). I absolutely love writing about my own experiences, I often don't talk about many and just keep filtering them out but that's exactly the problem that I am facing now. EVERYTHING that I go through (mostly sexually), I start obsessing over how I am going to write about it. It's not like I go actively seek out experiences in life just so I could write about it (nothing wrong with that also) but I don't want the anxiety of writing hovering constantly while I put a dick in my mouth!
Another thing that has been bothering me a little is one comment I received about this blog. So, whenever I talk to people about DUG (ugh, STILL doesn't sound cool. It sounds like a lame Pokemon move), I always introduce it as a 'sex blog'. Yes, yes it's not just about sex, it's mostly me whining about my life but still, I particularly take pride in the fact that I don't shy away talking about sex the way it is. Because I have 100% without fail always been disappointed by gay erotica, no matter how explicit it claims to be, always falls short of talking about sex, fucking penetration the way it is! With the danger of you feeling like you are going to shit anytime, or how when your dick goes completely inside the butt-hole, there's this tingly feeling at the tip and also the nagging feeling to pee. The comment was that this blog doesn't really talk about sex a lot. Like it's just there, incidental to other things that happen in one's life. And I pretended to be nonchalant infront of that person, but I was deeply offended. Is there any right way to talk about sex? Or is there a need to have enough sex for a blog for it to qualify as a sex blog? Because the other comment I received was, "well from your blog it doesn't seem like you have THAT much sex". I was offended by this comment as well. Not because I need validation in life by having sex with n no. of people (ew what the fuck, what am I? In High school?) but because I never intended to write here to talk about sex with boys/men/studs/Henry Cavill (sigh. someday.), I want to write about what it felt to have sex with them. LOT of different there guys. So in case you are looking for sexual adventures, this is not the blog for you, THIS ONE is (seriously..check it out...it's gooooood).
I was also thinking about perhaps, changing the way I write here. You know, I was just going through this article about coming out stories in India, and I was just so thoroughly displeased by one of them. I became a super judgemental devil and dismissed someone's experience by saying how it shows no reflection and how it has no depth. And then in the next minute I though, 'Dafuq is wrong with me!'. I am no one to define how people feel about their moments of coming out, the way they live their lives and define it in their own ways. Similarly, I am just going to continue writing whatever comes to my mind here.
Sorry people, I started out writing this post thinking that I would talk about penetration and the power of it but instead ended up writing about generally talking about sex here. Just needed to clear my mind about that one. I think I also need to admit that I need to stop looking for that ground-breaking moment or stop giving so much importance to this blog in the sense that it is rare for someone to write about sex and life and not just write it in a very monolithic narrow way. It's ok. It's just an ordinary blog. I think I needed to say this to myself more than to you reader.
So anyway! I hope you would still continue coming back here. I shall not take such a long break now (who, am I kidding? I suck at keeping promises). Here, the moment which inspired me to write my diary from Vampire Diaries (lolz, again)